America

There is something very wrong with this country.

I don’t blame any of you for not seeing it. We are all spoon fed the priorities of the individual and distracted from ever looking at the bigger picture.

Sure, from time to time we see glimpses of urgent or impactful issues, but then they too get swept under the rug by the newest celebrity gossip.

It’s not even entirely our fault that it happened. It didn’t change over night. No, this was a systemic cultural evolution that fed off the only principle that has ever mattered in this country. Capitalism, or if you want to be blunt, where’s the money?

I could sit here for hours and argue with everyone about how government is corrupted, with wealthy senators lobbying and jockeying for power (all the while nothing real gets accomplished) or explain how for all the good the Occupy Movement could have been, it became a lightning rod in the hands of the confused and angry and resulted in very little being brought to the table.

But before I do any of that, what I want you to do is Google News and check the most highlighted stories – as to say what people are really caring about- and you’ll find the following.

Obama wants us all to eat horses.



I didn’t know that he actually made a campaign promise to permanently ban the use of horse meat for human consumption (SEE: LIAR), but in the grand scheme of things until I read another article that tells me companies are legally allowed to integrate Mr. Ed into my Big Mac, I’ll focus on other things.

(I could have sworn Taco Bell used to use D-grade horse meat as the secret ingredient in their burrito supreme.)

Herman Cain dropped out of the race for the Presidency.



I liked the guy from the angle that he was a maverick and had both parties on edge, but even if you have the slightest bit of conspiracy theorist inside you, you knew there are way too many influential people out there controlling the Electoral College that would have ever seen this man in the oval office.

And regardless of what he may or may not have done with other women in his lifetime, I do not understand the direct correlation that has with making decisions to change a country’s policies and lead people.



Unless his sexual misconduct was with this person, then I would question his decision making skills.

Obama is immortal.




http://abcnews.go.com/Health/wireStory/presidents-age-faster-rest-us-15098196

We already knew he was attempting to be a prophet of the world. (First, peaceful foreign policy, then free health insurance and now you’re going to employ everybody! YAY)

But apparently according to research, being the president of the united states has statistically shown to prolong your life expectancy. Not bad for the president with the most vacation and golf time of any other president in our country's history.

It just makes you want to go to Area 51 and solve Blue’s Clues for yourself doesn’t?

The FAA Chairman got a DUI on the ground.



http://www.washingtonpost.com/business/no-2-faa-official-takes-charge-after-administrator-resigns-in-wake-of-drunken-driving-arrest/2011/12/07/gIQA2tUhbO_story.html


I just don’t understand how this is relevant. Stupid people get arrested for stupid activities all the time. It’s not like he was directing 747’s in the air while smashed on some brandy and egg nog.

This little bill....

Oh and finally, our Senate just passed a bill that let’s every American citizen be arrested and held indefinitely without trial by our military in the name of homeland security. No big deal right?



http://www.aclu.org/blog/national-security/senators-demand-military-lock-american-citizens-battlefield-they-define-being/

The sad part is, that story wasn't even in the headlines. You have to search to learn of such atrocities because the media knows that dissent and anger won't make them money.

But hey, at least we know Alec Baldwin loves to play Words with Friends way too much.



We are so freaking screwed.

Move Along Move Along While I Write this Blog

I hate how much I love you to still care what you think.

Well Shit.

I haven't been around, obviously, so I think for now I'll just truncate the last few months to catch everyone up to speed.

Roslyn left me.
I work a bazillion hours a week still.
I went to Coachella!

I'm sure I'm about one more drunken evening away from writing a terribly-spelled eulogy as to why Roslyn ranaway, but I'm saving that story for the moment when I'm the most upset with her because she hates when any of her life get broadcasts when it isn't cookie cutter perfect. Suffice to say, I was dumb and she was intolerant and didn't want the relationship to survive. Whatever, enough time has gone by where I want to defiantly throw my middle finger in the air at her, but like I said, that's a tale reserved for after a fifth of jack daniels.




Work is still work, I work and then I work some more. In fact when Roslyn "left" as in moved out of our apartment without even telling me, it's because I was working a sweet 17-hour day on my day off. This crap is going to kill me and I now see why 40 somethings are so miserable. I can't do this for the rest of my life.

Coachella has been my solace so far this year. Like a bastion dragging me from the brink, it invigorated me and left me with that sense of wonder and awe like a drug you just wish you could take and fall back into it. I call it Coachellity and it beats Reality every time.

If you've never been I highly encourage you to try it on for size, you'll hear bands you love, discover ones you never knew you'd like and complain about that one act that will end up crashing like a spectacular meteor based on the expectations of your mind.

I only leave two pearls of wisdom for it:

Water and Sunscreen.


I trust you know what to do with both because the heat was ridiculous.

Speaking of Ridiculous, the only thing I would have to complain about Coachella was Kanye. Man he stunk. Oh and Kanye, if you have one chance to say in an infamous line in front of 70,000 people, don't squander it.



But seriously, the festival was very well organized this year with PLENTY of showers, and lots of great spacing and plenty of fun activities. There was still the regular infestation of bee hives, people stealing stuff and someone getting run over by a four-wheeler, but it didn't rain on my parade. I can't wait for the pictures to be uploaded. I just really hope next year everyone from our group can make it.

As for next year, if they already had a layaway ready I'd sign up (I almost didn't get to go this year due to the festival selling out in 4 days) and as we always do we make predictions about who will be in attendance next year.

2012 Lineup:
Daft Punk
Incubus
Lady Gaga
Sound Garden
Foo Fighters
Radiohead
Eminem or Ludacris
Queens of the Stone Age
Iron and Wine
Mos Def
Perry Farrell (in some incarnation)
Infected Mushroom
Anthony Green
Dan the Automator
InnerPartySytem

If i really wanted aim big, then let's say Led Zepplin just for kicks.


I can't wait until next year's lineup, but now it's been decided that now we have to aim for Glastonbury in the UK. This year's lineup is heartbreaking that I can't go. Apparently it's an extremely detailed process that to go through doesn't even necessarily guarantee you a ticket!



So I guess if there's a lesson to be learned in all of this, it's that you should never date women ever. They will just ruin you in the end or let you ruin yourself and that if you're going to work only work enough so that you can attend every sweet music festival you can.

I'm dedicating this song to you Roslyn. I wanted to make it work, and I wanted to be nice, but you didn't want any of that.

2011.

It’s a New Year.

The great thing about New Years is the mentality that people have about it. It’s almost as if people think that everything starts over fresh, like some giant video game that you can just hit the RESET button and it will all change.

Don’t get me wrong. I think it’s great that people want to jump start their optimism all at one time. I think that might be one of the reasons that people make it to the next year in the first place.

The only down side to all of this that New Years is just a lie. It’s an escape for one day before reality bites back down hard.

Think about last year, 2010. People always at the precipice of the something new will look back and complain about what they’ve already had. The best way to describe this phenomena is using a TV or computer. If you were to get a new one today, you’d say that your old one was a piece of junk and that you couldn’t wait to upgrade.

Guess what? You’ll say that when you buy the next one too.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not jaded. I just think that it is silly people try to rally all of their inspiration into just one day and then try to carry that mentality for an entire year.

I think you have a better chance of being hit by lightning. Unless that’s your New Years Resolution of course.

Seriously, to all the people who want to lose weight, stop smoking, get that promotion, discover yourself or just generally do better, you will never accomplish this goal on your own. Why not? Because yourself is already at fault for putting yourself in the rut or unhappy place you’re at and no promise over a sip of champagne and a giant ball dropping is going to change that.

So do yourself a favor and get help. I’m not talking a self-help book, some Nicotine gum, or a gym membership, I’m talking about finding another human being to pick you up when you’re struggling.

In case you’re not sure who to seek out, I’ve given you some options to help develop your options.

Weight Loss:



Find/Pay someone to ride your butt about getting into shape. Make them responsible for all the neglect you’ve already shown.



Think of it this way, until you can go to work in your bathing suit and not be embarrassed, that’s your end goal. Feel free to use that as a tool in your weight loss efforts, but be forewarned about impending sexual harassment lawsuits. Your call.

Smoking:



Find someone with throat cancer and become best friends. Chances are no matter how neutral you are about it, that voicebox is going to creep you out and remind you that you don’t want the same thing happening to you.

P.S. Watching Ned on South Park does not count as befriending.



If that fails, the only other thing I can suggest to you is have a baby. You can’t smoke around them (unless you’re a complete jerkoff) and it will help you kill the cravings.



Becoming someone better:

Get yourself a motivational speaker and life coach.



Only when you let someone else in and tell you that improving your life is possible and keeping you on track to do it will you succeed. Imagine it as a report card. If you have a goal you’re struggling to achieve and with no one checking in, it’s easy just to lie to yourself.
WARNING: The degree of success you get is from the caliber of person you select.

I hope that puts you on the right track.

As for me, I like to keep my resolutions simple, unique and most importantly obtainable. Last years went pretty well, with the exception of learning another language. I think I picked up a few extra Spanish words during Happy Hour at the El Presidente so I’m recycling that to this years cut. As for the rest, I actually just about filled my artwork book up which I intend to use throughout this years blog.

My only other two resolutions were to not be the first person to break eye contact when locking eyes with a stranger and to blog at least 5 times a week on this thing.

So fee free to share your resolutions. If you need help keeping them, I'm a publicly embarrassing post away from keeping you in line. Hopefully you all can do the same for me.

Until next time.