Thunder Only Happens When It's Raining

Trouble seems to follow me in spades. Whoever stole my iPod, apparently also slashed some important tubing in my vehicle, because my car’s motor sputtered and died on me only a few days after. (I can’t actually prove this, but he/she’s already a bastard which makes them my #1 scapegoat.)

So after a paltry two years, the free car my bio-dad got me is dead. I’m not really complaining, it just came at an inconvenient time. I got scared that I might have to huff it or loser cruiser it up for a while. Or so I thought. Turns out the parentals decided to buy a new car and when found out their old one was worth squat thanks to the “Cash for Clunkers” program destroying trade-in value, they loaned the grand cherokee to me until I get a new (used) car. It's nice to be in a bigger vehicle again though. I was sick of getting intimidated by big burly brosefs in their lifted trucks and their hardcore stickers.I mean how is a champagne saturn supposed to compete with that? Anyone have any suggestions on what to get?

I will mention a funny shout out about dealerships, it’s disgustingly scary when you discover them ripping you off. When my mom went in to buy a vehicle she had already extensively researched it. The salesman tried to mark it up by 6,500 dollars! My mom was so furious, she demanded to start over with a new sales person. I’m not sure what the mark up really was, but I can tell you that first guy was out a sale. I guess the lesson learned here is that as a buyer the power really is in your hands. I hope everyone remembers that when it’s their turn.

I will tell you this though, in the brief 24-hour hiatus I was vehicle-less, I noticed some rather infuriating things. What is with people parking in two spaces? I’m not talking about those douche bags who intentionally park in two spots to protect their pretty BMW. Honestly, to me that ideology seems like reverse psychology. I always imagine someone brave enough to drag their keys, belt buckle, hell finger nails across a shiny coat of primer as retaliation for being inconvenienced so said douche bag’s car wouldn’t get dented their while they ran in to get their mocha choca latte.

No those people play with fire and leave their fate in other people’s hands.
I’m talking about the people who pull into a spot where they just didn’t quite make it. I mean what the hell? When you get out of your car, there are two painfully obvious white stripes to let you know just exactly how intelligent you are. Yet these people still pull in and park, get out and carry on with their business as usual. It begs the question that did people not realize if a baby stroller between them and the adjacent car that maybe they might have screwed up?

I mean it doesn’t take rocket science to place a rectangle inside a larger rectangle does it?

Personally, I’d like to see police officers be enabled to ticket people on account of “dumbassery” or an inconvenience fee (think Ticketmaster). If someone get’s caught screwing other people over they too should get screwed. Rather than raise taxes and continue to plague good-minded people, let’s punish the idiots like they did back in the good old dark ages.

I’m off to go check out auto loans….

GO SEE DISTRICT 9 IF YOU HAVEN’T ALREADY!

Disastrous and Proposterous

Unfortunately, today's broadcast is one of terrible news.

Sebastian was kidnapped today in the early morning hours of this hot august day between the hours of 10am-2pm. He was eight months old.

Sebastian was always so proud being the largest of his bunch showing it off whenever he could.

Others always wished they could be as big.

And yet for as eclectic and eccentric as he was he always knew I wanted. As if he could read my mind. Sometimes he knew what I wanted even when I didn't.

I think about how at first I almost didn't choose Sebastian, inticed by others. But when I saw his cool gray color the way he lit up in my hands when I first held him, we both knew we were destined for each other.

He was my first in a lot of ways and he showed me a whole other side of myself I never knew about.

Now I fill with insermountable rage at the thought of someone else's hands on you. It's like I've lost a best friend.

I know if he was here right now, he'd tell me in his own way to move on and be happy. To not worry about a thing because everything would be alright.

So I'll move on, but I'll never forget. If I ever catch the motherfucker who took you, I'll avenge you I swear.

I'll miss you man.

Any information leading to Sebastians kidnappers will be rewarded with delicious ice cream treats



Sebastian, was a loyal and faithful classic 120 gb gunmetal iPod given to Matt last year. He had over 14,000 songs and exactly 2 movies before he left us.

Playing Catch Up

I've been meaning to write about my trip to Portland, and I swear I'll get around to it when I get back from camping. I've just been incredibly busy with a job promotion, story work, and sleeping.

I wanted to shout out a few things though that were pressing on my mind. I know not many of you here are gamers, but if you have ever heard of Diablo (or Diablo 2) and you liked it, there is a game out called Sacred 2 that has become my newest digital crack addiction. I rarely plug product without reviews, but trust me when I say just go buy it. Everyone who has followed my sage advice so far has not been disappointed.

Also on the game news front, there is a new video out for Halo 3 ODST. As I heard the narrator, I couldn't help but feel as if I had been there before. Everything felt so comfortable. It was as the squad leader pulled his helmet off, that I recognized a very familiar (if not digitized) face. My friends, you get to play as a rookie in a squad with Captain Malcom Reynolds, Jayne, and Wash from Firefly fame.

It was pure genius to me, of course sci-fi nuts already loved the series so why not go cuckoo for coco-puffs bringing the legendary talents back together? It's reasons like these why I'm glad Bungie and all other game-developers are true nerds at heart.

Lately people have been asking me where I get all my crazy T-shirts. Truth be told it depends. A lot of websites offer extremely cheap shirts, usually just for 24 hours and then that's that. I troll through them daily as new prints come up rather quickly. Just don't wear a shirt I'm wearing on the same day. Or else. :)

shirt.woot.com $10 flat rate for a shirt. (wait for Random Woot Days where shirts are only $6 but you don't know what you'll get)
www.threadless.com pricier shirts, but pretty much one of the companies to pave the way lots of great stuff if they actually have it in stock.
www.teextile.com A great layout with lots of premise letting you know the spread for the week with cheaper purchasing on the day it falls on. Sometimes great sometimes not so great.
www.teefury.com A lot like shirt.woot.com however once the day is over the shirt is gone forever.

I promise I'll bring my wit back with the next posting.

OH! Speaking of comedy, just in case you guys have never heard that the bird is the word, there is local comedy club in Santa Clarita. Get this, it's been here for over a decade. I went last week and was thoroughly impressed by the main act. Plus it's only $12 bucks. It's called JR's Comedy Club and it's held at Marie Calendars every weekend. The website is www.comedyinvalencia.com

You won't be disappointed. If you are, you don't know how to find the funniness in life and should live under a bridge.