Halo Day

Yesterday, I conducted what I thought would be a little experiment that turned into a challenge that would test my stamina, patience and coordination beyond any recordable measure.

For you see, Brice and I completed Halo, Halo 2, and Halo 3 back to back to back in one sitting. He had never played all of them and didn't know the whole story. To me, that was like letting a kid watch all six Star Wars together. I had to oblige him.

Hence forth, December 16th, 2009 shall forever be known as Halo Day. Enjoy the break down of this event over the next few days of my blog.

The statistics?

For all THREE games, it took us 17 hours and 16 minutes resulting in 215 (5*) player deaths, and 27 restarts with a total of three people playing.

During this game fest 2 pizzas, 2 bags of chips, 12 chicken wings, 2 coffees, 2 Icees, one 2-liter of Dr. Pepper, a Snickers bar and a handful of Reese’s Pieces were consumed. To my recollection, there was not one potty break.

The log speaks for itself below.

Halo

December 15th, 9:49 p.m.

I find myself worrying that Brice might not be up to the task of our Halo Marathon tomorrow after realizing he is foolishy staying up late to play Left 4 Dead 2 while I enjoy the romantic comedy 500 Days of Summer and go to bed before double digits read off on the clock like a senior citizen. Hopefully my girlfriend doesn’t catch me thinking about a man while we are cuddling.

December 16th, 8:30 a.m.

Slumber was delightful. I feel rejuvenated. I tried calling Brice to make sure he was ready for our Halo Marathon. No answer. Knowing him, he probably purposefully ignored my call. I’ll harass him in a few minutes while I go make a coffee run.

December 16th, 8:47 a.m.

Got a hold of Brice. It was like talking to an angry panda bear, more guttural sounds came from him than intelligent words. Regardless, I bribed him with his kryptonite: White peppermint mocha with all the fixings and extra delicious. Whatever the end result, the die has been cast.

December 16th, 9:29 a.m.

We start playing Halo. I make the mistake of not inverting my thumbsticks and have to play the entire first level backwards. The result is what it would look like if the military ever resorted to drafting mental handicap children into the army. Brice carried the way.

December 16th, 9:33 a.m.

The first betrayal! Brice panicked when instantly teleported to my location and cracked me in the back of the dome. It seems like even in the distant future where mankind struggles for survival, the parables of Cain and Abel still have not been learned. I will avenge myself when I can.

December 16th, 9:47 a.m.

After a quick restart my controls were back to normal. However I proceed to make my first actual death one where I fell off the cliff while shooting at bad guys. I tried to convince Brice that the controls were still awkward but he wasn’t buying it. Damn it.

December 16th, 9:55 a.m.

Another death on my part. I forgot that the original Halo had fall damage and I foolishly leapt from the top of the tower to save some Marine buddies. Brice accidentally killed Sergeant Johnson. I foresee this either as blatant racism, or the sinister intention of perfecting his betraying skills to catch me unawares. I wonder if Brice’s actions could some how change the game seeing how he just killed one of the most important characters in the game in the first few minutes.

December 16th, 10:01 a.m.

I have been avenged. Foehammer dropped the warthog off and I immediately drove it off a cliff flipping it and squashing Brice on the gunner seat while surviving like the badass I am. Another thing I forgot: How poor the warthog handles in the first game. It’s like comparing a mini-van to a F1 race car. I’m going to need to shake off the rust for the end Pillar of Autumn run.

December 16th, 10:45 a.m.

Things have been proceeding well. I found I’m not as sloppy with the sniper rifle as I feared and Brice has been cleaning house pretty well. Brice discovered the hard way that trying to fight a cloaked sword Elite with your face doesn’t work out in your favor.

December 16th, 11:24 a.m.

Brice and I discover what Halo’s creators, Bungie, do best. Make you backtrack. While playing the Silent Cartographer we ran all over the place. Brice almost gave up the fight right then and there saying he wanted to take a vacation to the beautiful and tranquil beaches.

December 16th, 11:47 a.m.

Brice, in all his infinite wisdom thought it would be a good idea to t-bone me at full speed with his tank while I waited in the Warthog. The ending result flipped the hog and then squished me in between it and a wall.

December 16th, 12:01 p.m.

Brice just discovered what happens when you stand still on the back of a warthog in the middle of a battlefield. Sticky to the head.

December 16th, 12:15 p.m.

We took a shortcut by jumping in a banshee before it took off to get to the control room. Shaved off at least 30 minutes. I got knocked out by plasma fire and feeling vengeful stole Brice’s Banshee for some payback… which resulted in another death. Luckily Brice had the common sense to complete the mission.

December 16th, 12:43 p.m.

Brice and I have come to some decisions about Halo. The Flood suck. Shotguns rock.

December 16th, 12:52 p.m.

Brice learns two cold hard lessons. I will leave him behind to die if it’s the Flood. Elevator are not toys. If you jump enough on them, you will glitch and fall through them.

December 16th, 1:03 p.m.

Damn this library is redonkulously big. I still don’t understand why Guilty Spark can’t just teleport us to the freaking index. I feel like this a carnival ride gone retardedly wrong.

December 16th, 1:10 p.m.

I don’t think I can ever eat popcorn shrimp again as they remind me too much of Flood infection forms. Brice is particularly angry after trying to pet one and having it latch on to him and kill him while he was waiting for his shields to recharge.

December 16th, 1:27 p.m.

Correction from previous journal. The Flood suck on different levels. Flood with rocket launchers or shotguns are maximum suck.

December 16th, 1:41 p.m.

It seems like we just can’t make friends in the future. Covenant, Flood, and now flying laser beam bots all want our heads on pikes. Replaying the control level map. I’m aware I’m in the same place, but I’m too busy trying to stay alive to care.

December 16th, 1:57 p.m.

I’m a little disappointed Brice didn’t see that huge gaping hole in the Truth and Reconcilation and now is making us fight in the dark with the flood. I didn’t have the heart to tell him it was scripted that way because I am evil.

December 16th, 2:10 p.m.

Last level, but I’m getting a little sick of Brice’s betraying ways. He just shotgunned me in the face when he mistook me for a HUNTER…. As a result I now have more deaths than him. Being the case that I am the better player and refuse to have it go down this way, I cracked him on the skull twice and intend to “accidentally” kill him in the last few minutes of the game.

December 16th, 2:24 p.m.

The deaths are tied up after I backed over him when the warthog flipped on the PoA run. I tricked him into hopping out of the warthog where Foehammer dies and almost left him behind. We’re so close.

December 16th, 2:26 p.m.

SUCCESS! I made it to the Longsword. Brice got gunned down on the final run and didn’t survive.

Brice’s total deaths: 35
Matt’s total deaths: 34
Full restarts: 9

Check back tomorrow for Halo 2’s log!


* The 5 deaths have been posthumously added because they were incurred while I was taking out the trash cans. While they do count, I didn't add them to the total because I wasn't there to witness them or prevent them.